I had to verify that, in fact, this was Note No. 6993. Writing 6992 yesterday morning seemed like an eternity ago. It’s 6:14 pm. Just listened to a guided meditation I’ve listened to a couple times before. It's from a tape recorded in the mid 90’s by this woman named Shakti Gawain. Her tapes are now poorly converted Google Play audiobooks with no-name chapters that start and end in odd places. Kind of wish it was a tape so I could just blindly reach over and eject it before the next mediation inevitably starts.
She begins every mediation on this tape by describing a visualization of your inner sanctuary. Essentially, a mode of winding down and regaining focus, starting by walking down an imaginary path. There’s eight or so meditations on the tape, all starting this way. I’ve done the tape a little more than twice through now, and each of the twenty times I figuratively walk down the path to my inner sanctuary I end up in a new location. Some I forget, and some stick. The “stickiest” of places have been aside an alpine lake on a starry summer night, a grassy mid-afternoon meadow, a cozy little beach in Guanaja, a dreamy ocean cliffside with a cabin, and a misty mountain clearing in chaparral.
Today I found myself in a plain white bed wedged in a corner of a plain white room. I guess even my most deeply relaxed self needed to relax.
I haven’t been able to enter that deep restorative state in a while, and I was quite relieved to be reacquainted with the feeling.
“if all 10 billion interconnected nerve cells [in your brain] discharged at one time that a single electrode placed on the human scalp would record something like five millionths to 50 millionths of a volt. If you had enough scalps hooked up you might be able to light a flashlight bulb.” (Scientific American)
According to this very conveniently self-titled article, What is the function of brainwaves? by Scientific American, there are four distinct brain waves that capture certain states of being; Beta, Alpha, Theta, and Delta. As you step down the neural oscillation staircase from Beta and Alpha to Theta and Delta, the height of the waves increase as the frequency decreases, which basically means, as you can imagine, that the graph goes from shallow jagged scribbles (highly focused waking state), to long, loopy waves (deep, non-REM sleep). The space inbetween, book-ended by Alpha and Theta, can be expressed as anything from loosely-focused daydreaming and zoning out, to creative visualizations, and deep, restorative meditative states.
If I had to recount my day today from the moment I woke up, it would be delta, theta, alpha, beta...beta, beta, beta...alpha, beta, alpha, theta, delta, theta, and finally back to beta again.
Quite a morse code I’m living.
“Individuals who do a lot of freeway driving often get good ideas during those periods when they are in theta. Individuals who run outdoors often are in the state of mental relaxation that is slower than alpha and when in theta, they are prone to a flow of ideas. This can also occur in the shower or tub or even while shaving or brushing your hair. It is a state where tasks become so automatic that you can mentally disengage from them. The ideation that can take place during the theta state is often free flow and occurs without censorship or guilt. It is typically a very positive mental state.” (Scientific American)
This “free flow” of ideas “without censorship or guilt” is the exact reason why I meditate.
The ideas that come through me, as an artist or creator or whatever you wanna call it, did not originate from me. The biggest thing that will tear down anyone with any creative inclination (which is everyone, yes you) is to claim that this idea is mine. It came from me. Such self-attachment is surely a recipe for self-destruction. Our job is to be a conductor of ideas, not a collector of them. We must funnel thoughts through ourselves and into the world, to others, and to places beyond the individual that is I. That is our duty.
The moment we reign one idea supreme is the moment we cut off the figurative faucet that allows us to tap into ideas beyond our own creation. It’s all a give and take, you see. The more I put out in the world, the more I give, the more I receive.
I’ll finish this off with one last thought, which came to me right as I was sinking from Alpha to Theta, and it was: To live with integrity is not to fear the weight of your truth.