I’m in a very dream-like setting. Sound is pervasive, and it’s like it’s being played over a PA system in the big dome that is the visible sphere I can see. The only things that exist are what I can hear, see, taste, smell and feel inside. Time is completely irrelevant. Day of the week as well. Like a dream. Is it night time or is it day time is all that’s relevant in that front. It’s perfectly dream-like. Also the linearity of time has been disregarded. Everything feels perfectly small and local to me. The light on everything is perfect and warm. A clear fuzzy glow if such a thing exists. There’s also a falsity to everything. Like everything’s staged. There is little to no internal monologue or separation between “outside of me” and “inside of me”. It’s like the inner world has moved out to the visible sphere, not hallucinations, but the dissolution of a body barrier, a skin barrier. All I have to do to cue this is I am in a lucid dream, look how clear and vivid things are. Feel how dreamlike and light this is. Wow look at....Or playing “invisible”, that you are merely a scope into a foreign reality. I am only visiting here. A straight line that goes goes goes and then suddenly dips down to earth...from infinity to definite finiteness back to infinity again....Feels now that life is the exception, not death or pre-living. Why does nobody talk about where you are before you’re conceived or born, and only about where we go after? Fear of death only occurs when the idea of consciousness is tied to flesh. If I did not have eyes, was not born seeing, would my sense of self and world-centeredness be the same. Is consciousness pinpointed to our heads because we are taught that’s where our brain is, and it’s near our eyes and ears, two very primary sources of feeling and experiencing the world. It’s like I’m a comb and the outside just passes through. I’m here but only as an outline. There’s a quaintness to this feeling. A high attention to feeling and detail and experience, like entering a high. Of seeking. Going into seeing and feeling and smelling seeking. Seeking and choosing to be awed or wowed or curious.
“‘All of us ultimately choose the path of science or the path of spirituality’...but Griffith doesn’t see the two ways of knowing as mutually exclusive, and has little patience for absolutists on either side of the supposed divide. Rather he hopes the two ways can inform each other and correct each other’s defects, and in that exchange, help us to pose and possibly answer the big questions we face…’The Johns Hopkins experiment shows, proves that under controlled experimental conditions psilocybin can occasion genuine mystical experiences. It uses science, which modernity trusts, to undermine modernity’s secularism. In doing so, it offers hope of nothing less than a resacralization of the natural and social world, a spiritual revival that is our best defense against, not only soullessness, but against religious fanaticism. And it does so in the very teeth of the unscientific scientific prejudices built into our current drug laws’”. (Pollan, How to Change Your Mind)
It’s like the game where you pass an object around one by one and propose an item to bring to a theoretical picnic the game’s initiator has made up. The initiator describes the picnic, and kicks it off with, “I’ll bring some 80’s cassette tapes,” and so frustratingly, the members of the group name off, person by person, a collective list of obscure objects relating to 80’s cassette tapes in varying degrees from 90’s cassette tapes to a bologna sandwich. And in a dozen too many rounds of “can I bring leg warmers” and “what about corn on the cob” according to the frustrated, and even enraged participants, with only the odd person or two successfully having their item accepted to the picnic, does the group figure out you just have to say thank you when receiving the object cuing your turn. It’s one defeating lesson, but it requires participants to think bigger, and on another plane of thought, not harder or necessarily in relation to what others have said.
Practicing staying present to visualizations while meditating helps align the visual aspect of feeling transcendent in waking consciousness. In visualizing, we have to actively buy into what we’re seeing. The more we prompt ourselves, the more comes. Where am I? What’s the temperature? Have I been here? Places we reach in our visualizations are usually blissful in scenes where we feel delighted to be there and delighted to greet what we find. There’s a dream-like aspect to it. We are consciously leaning into the understanding that this is a product of the imagination or subconscious, or we are tapping into a source beyond ourselves. The main indicator of being in a meditative state are steady, uniform inhalations and exhalations, like we are being breathed effortlessly. There’s a softness to everything. Depth to everything. It’s a period of collecting energy in our physical forms, which usually manifests as pulsing or throbbing in extremities, fingertips most notably, and sometimes the acknowledgement the rotation or sliding in a back and forth motion of a focal point, or undefined object that isn’t seen or doesn’t take form, but is felt and known to be there. Usually at eye level and within a foot to my face. Usually either making quick and steady clockwise circular revolutions or thin elliptical revolutions starting from my eyes or head region extending out at a forward angle from my left shoulder and beyond, creating the sense of this focal point bouncing back and forth. It’s not independent of myself, though. It has weight, gravity to it. It pulls my upper body to gently rock as a result of its draw.
The flickering of things in the wind reminds me of the feeling of tingling energy. I want to learn more about what things are made of. Energy at the very, very core, but I want to be able to understand it more fully.
There’s a smallness to time. Nothing feels urgent. There is no wall of a deadline I’m running head into. Time seems to dissolve completely. It’s just being, and trusting of endless amounts of time. This is the only thing that exists. This is the only thing that exists. This is the only thing that exists...this mantra draws me back into the dream-like state again and again. Drishti, breathing, this is a dream.
In states like this...sunbathing states...I can remember in perfect detail when I sunbathed against the house, in the driveway, next to the front door of the annex, the annex pathway. Entering in a meditative state, I recall and send myself to the last location of a meditative state and visualize as best I can being there. And soon the barriers of what’s a memory and what’s a visualization seem not to matter. It’s all just an extension of the same thing, the same moment, if we’re speaking non-linearly and removed from time in dream explanation.
States of being are locations.
Today I’ve been to anger. I’ve been to bliss. I’ve been to claustrophobia. I’ve been to ease. I’ve been to stimulated.
The smaller your world, the bigger the realm of existence is.
I looked at the dogs in the kitchen while I was cooking, and they all looked back, knowingly.
It’s like they were all in on it, and I was just catching on. A practical joke that somewhere along the line or all along they were in on. It’s like if this physical, real world presence was heaven. And the bees were having their shot at eternal glory, and the flowers they were pollinating. That we had so serendipitously crossed. And as I saw them, I saw them as I saw myself.
Experiencing the world anew, almost comically rich, like in the land of ABC’s The Good Place. Very similar to passing some dude on the street and exchanging peace signs or some sort of head nod to acknowledge each other, and each other minding their own business doing the same thing. You’re walking, sick, I’m walking too, catch ya later. But oh you got this earth time slot too? Rad. Ok catch ya another time.
Why did this come to me today?
At first I was like, am I high?
It’s like cuing “high mind”
It’s a very plausible thing.
Not even that because I know it to be possible.
I think there’s two very real parts to being high, and this only applies to getting high after already knowing what being high feels like, how your mind works, etc. Half of it is the drug kicking in and doing it’s biz. The other very real half of it is a placebo. I’m high and so therefor I’ll be extra intrigued by sensation, by color, by beingness. When I’m high, life is full and everything’s endlessly curious...It’s an aid to seeking. And once you’re tuned into seeking, you no longer need the aid.
One of those if you can dream it, you can do it scenarios, although with less annoying and you’ve been watching Disney channel false charm.
It’s literally about getting out of your head. Or just denying that your head is separate than the outside. Less fighting that way.
It’s a beautiful way to see and frame and experience life, everything as just another landmark to notice, and where our internal landscapes are seen perfectly integrated outside of us.